A Response to my Reader

Hi Serene

I have been reading your blog and I think you come across as a strong, confident woman who knows what you want in your life.

I would like some advice from you. I’m currently working and am very unhappy in my work environment. I have two female bosses and one is always picking on me and it has come to “bullying”, always finding fault with everything I do and humiliating me in front of the other people at work.

When I try to raise my problem to the other female boss, all she does is tell me that I should just accept it and not create trouble or the female boss bully will just find more trouble with me. I feel like there’s no one else I can turn to in the office.

I want to quit my job but I’m afraid of losing the ‘money’. I’m a graduate in the later part of my 20s. Would really like to hear what you think. Do not mind you publishing my post on the main page of your blog.

Your reader

Hi Babe,

I may appear strong and confident but really, we all have our weak and insecure moments.

Personally, being happy at work is extremely important because we spend a good amount of waking hours at work. But not everyone is lucky to have a good boss or work environment. If you enjoy your work but not your boss, then learn to manage your boss.

But if she is a really mean person and it is impossible to work with her, perhaps you can talk to your other trusted mentors or seniors on how to deal or work with her.

For me, if I hate my boss but love my company, I will explore opportunities to transfer to another department. Job transfers in the name of learning new things and exploring new areas, may be welcomed by certain company to retain and develop staffs. This is very common in the company I work for where there are people transferring among Operations, Marketing and Purchasing departments.

If this is not possible in your company, and if you have little attachment to this company, don’t be afraid to look out and find another job! You will be surprised that there are many other opportunities out there! Even though I’m still at my first job since I graduated, I have many friends and colleagues who eventually found something they enjoyed!

As for the money, even if you get a slight pay cut, it doesn’t quite matter if that can give you greater job enjoyment! Most importantly, talk to your family about your decision to prepare them mentally. If you can find another job before you resign, that will be the best but if you can’t wait to resign and take a sabbatical, talk to your family and get their support!

Be strong and keep your chin up! You deserve so much better than this!

That’s my take and it may not be the best so my dear readers, please help! You girls will probably have greater experience to share! What’s your take and what would you do?

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About somethingboutrenes

A lady with many random thoughts and braving this whimsical world with a simple faith. In love with all things vintage and pieces with a story to tell. Loves blogging, enjoys Yoga and has an urgent need to travel to maintain sanity.

2 responses to “A Response to my Reader”

  1. YuHui says :

    Just being extremely kaypoh and uncalled for ;)

    To Serene’s reader,

    I once had a boss like yours and it was just a little over a year ago. He was very mean, demoralizing and most of the time, condescending. “Go make yourself worthy of your degree” or “You will never make it anywhere in this industry” are very common phrases he used on me.

    To top it off, he never bothered to teach me anything. I was left to figure out many things on my own and when I make a mistake, more demeaning remarks came my way. It was a vicious cycle. You make a mistake, get criticized (most of which were un-constructive personal attacks), start to buy into those words, and then make more mistakes.

    I endured it for a year, and the thought of quitting didn’t even cross my mind. One, I had to prove to him I wasn’t lousy. Two, I honestly started buying into his words that no other company would ever want me. He had me dismissed slightly after the 1 year mark, on the basis that he could not work with me. For the next 6 months, which was kind of a sabbatical, I wallowed in low self esteem and very low confidence in my work abilities. It took the encouraging words of my other ex-bosses and ex colleagues before I walked out of it.

    Looking back, it was silly to allow myself to be beaten down by words like that. And even sillier to think that I could prove him wrong. But it’s understandable. Bosses are after all, people we should be looking up to, and being beaten down by someone whom you were supposed to look up to sucks big time.

    I completely agree with Serene – that being happy at work and getting the satisfaction is crucial. Most importantly, your boss has to be someone who supports you in your work and help you progress the right way.

    Know your worth, go for interviews (even for fun – it helps you to gauge your market worth and make you feel less helpless) and seek advice from seniors you can trust within the firm. Even if they are not in your department.

    Don’t be afraid to look elsewhere and don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself (politely) if you need to. No one should be subjected to office humiliation by the boss.

    And to echo Serene’s words, chin up! Keep us updated ya!

    • somethingboutrenes says :

      Thank you Yuhui!! No no, u r not kayboh!! I asked for my other reader’s response so thank you for putting effort in dropping a long note to my reader! I’m sure she will appreciate.

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