Mr Smiley Goes to Sunny O.C
This is not the usual SbR post. In fact, this is supposed to be a guest column, coz SbR has too much work on her hand plotting global domination (so long no professor gets stabbed) and not enough time updating this blog. So here I am. In Oscar-speak, I’m the seat filler. So as I think about subjects to write about, I thought, why not write about my fav pasttime, flying premium class on the world’s leading premium airline?
Early that morning, SbR sends Mr Smiley (thats me of coz) to the airport. After exchanging a warm embrace and a farewell smackeroo on lips greasy from yummy sausage mcmuffins, off I go for some luxe in the sky. No no, not the Mile-High type, just good ol’ opulent shite that fits snugly in a Tatler article.
And as I settle down into what they lovingly term the Skysuite (its a bloody lounge in itself, an uber comfy leather cum woodtrimmed autobot which easily transforms into an almost full-flat bed), I begin my voyage with what else, a glass of bubbly Krug of coz. Yum.
The cheery japanese $5 stewardess (nono, before you raise your hands up in fury, this is in fact one super smart way of differentiating different ranking cabin crew. $1 = blue = non ranking blue CC. $5 = green = leading CC. $10 = red = chief “ah ma” CC. $1000 = purple = in-flight supervisor = rare dinos. keke. ) was as flawless in her service as her complexion, as she brought round after round of drinks until I surrenderred. Burp.
Oh btw did I mention we were still on ground taxiing to the runway? Shiok la. And as we rose amongst the fluffy clouds to the cruising altitude of roughly 30+ thousand feet, I spied with the corner of my eye the rich cliente gathered in the front of the cabin. Wealthy looking? Check. Sharp, crisp togs? Check. CEO pattern? Check. Gorgeous, Daniel Wu-ish drop dead hunkdorylookers? Ermmmm… But Still! This is still some excluuuuusive company man.
As the seatbelt fastened sign dimmed, the crew swung into action to prep our meals. Btw did I mention how yummmmmmy the satay served was?? No pics here, but i tell u, its heavenly flavourful morsels of mutton and chicken bathed in rich Asian peanut sauce. Too bad the old white man beside me wasnt too impressed.
On to the main dishes!! It was a hell of a long 18 hour flight, with a break in between to mangaland. All dishes here are aparrently presented on Givenchy porcelain wares. Except the Japo Kaiseke Bentos of coz. OOOOoooooo…
Was kinda stuffed after that so I deployed the bed and watched a few shows on the world’s best inflight entertainment system. STOP ROLLING UR EYES!!!
After which they decided it was time to feed us again. And this time, it was posh I tellya, POSH! For starters I had caviar with a shot of vodka, which totally went with the overpriced fish eggs. My appetite has been whetted.
Next up, the soup. Now I’ve always liked mushroom soups, and have you ever thought how the humble mushroom soup can be glammed up? They dress it with truffle cream man! It was delish yes, but it felt like giving the nice homemaker-next-door a visit to Hollywood Secrets! Gimme plain old mushroom anytime. Btw aint the soup gorgeous laying on those Givenchys?
And finally, the piece de resistance. Beef cheeks with Asparagus and mashed potatoes! Paired with a super pricey red from Francois-land, the Chateau Pichon, its just shiok la! Full marks!!! Clapclapclap!
Well now, feeling supremely satisfied, the $5 CC brought on dessert, a Granny Smith apple (atas la, cannot normal china fuji one meh?) crumble paired with vanilla icecream. So much for the cycling sessions. Sigh.
And after that, and more Chateau Pichon later, I lazed back and scoured the movie catalog for goodies. This is life, man. And I await the next feeding time. Buuuuuurp!
Which incidentally isnt very long when you’r so occupied by the (once again) world’s best inflight entertainment system. Morning came swiftly, and I was on the other side of the Pacific, almost reaching sunny (but chilly) L.A. I wanted some homely comfort food, and short of eating char bee hoon, I ordered the closest thing the riche have – fried egg noodles with huge juicy prawns and scallops. For Breakfast!
And as I prepare for disembarkation at the bus terminal-like LAX, here are some other luxuries we throw in to attract premium class passengers. Among others, Evian bottled water (what else??), Salvatore Ferragammo (sic?) toiletry range and pyjamas, choc truffles and a whole range of cheese and fruits after dinner, and the list goes on and on.
This I say, is a damn goooood way to fly!